Change #1 and Change #2

Change #1



I had to drop choir.





My schedule was just not working. I was up to 6 evening commitments taking up 4 different nights (violin lesson, discipling relationship with Marie, date night at my grandparents, choir, sunday night band, focus group for Pastor Scott). They all are commitments that do not have an end in sight(except for focus group). In other words, they are not 'just for a time.'





I also have other commitments that come up but not on a weekly basis (worship team, orchestra). They do however, show up every month (once or twice).





On top of that I work full time which means including lunch break and driving time I'm gone for 10 hours a day just with that alone. Add in a discipling relationship that is intense and requires homework. Add in parents who want a clean room/bathroom/help around the house. Add in a serious boyfriend.





It was getting overwhelming and the Lord made it clear to me that choir was the commitment to be dropped.





Change #2




My discipling relationship with Marie is over.



I still can't talk about this one without crying. Marie is very dear to me. We have been meeting together for the past 2 years. She helped me through all the divorce changes and has mentored me faithfully. She and I have in depth studied the book of Ruth and the book of Colossians and 3 chapters of Esther. She has looked out for me and covered me in prayer. She has loved me and encouraged me and confronted me and pushed and poked and prodded me. She has poured herself and her time into me and I am changed because of it. She explained that discipleship relationships run along courses/seasons. She understands that I am heading towards the next season as I pursue my relationship with Adam. It is her desire that Adam and I meet with a couple and to be mentored by a couple. This is her way of freeing me up for that. She understood there was not a way for me to add another mentoring relationship and still keep up mine with her. So she suggested that it was time to end the formal relationship. Boy did I cry. I understand the goal though and Adam and I are meeting tonight with Tom and Suzi Pilarski. Hopefully we will be able to get a good answer on if they are going to be the couple for us. There have been about 4 times that I've tried to tell my folks about the discipling end but everytime I near the approach of mentioning it I absolutely choke up. I'm doing it right now, and I'm not even having to say anything out loud. To everything there is a season. Some seasons are really hard. I know Marie and I will stay in touch seeing as how we've got a rich foundation laid down. I am thankful for her. Everyone who made it this far in reading should take 3 seconds and say a prayer of blessing for Marie.





Now some may say, "That's two things off your plate then, so can't you add choir back in?" Well, I thought about it. But I know I'm not supposed to. Since I will be hopefully adding a couples discipling relationship in (and possibly commitment to College Group at church). I want to still have some time to have some freedom. Some time to devote to talking to my parents. Some time to devote to cleaning. To getting to bed early. To getting my oil changed on time. To practicing my orchestra music. Laundry. Eating dinner with my folks. Who knows if I'll fit ALL that in, but at least I can begin to try. For instance, last night I was able to chat a bunch with my dad, eat dessert with him, put my jammies on early, and spend some good time in prayer and reading the Word. It was precious. Exactly what I needed.





I just want to end by encouraging everyone to look to the Lord and be thankful. The Lord is so good to us. He supplies us with the things we need (even if what we need is to have something taken away). Sometimes those things are only for a time and it hurts when they leave, but they served a great purpose and allowed growth. I haven't hurt this much since 'you know what,' but I know that on top of God's sovereignty, He is good and loves me and is doing what is best for me. So I'm trying to embrace everything and move onward.. you know.. like a Christian Soldier. =)





Mom, I know you will need tissues when you are done reading this. You've seen me cry lately. I love you!